Foreign Policy

 After enjoying a Hamms and watching BBC News i came to an acute realization. If every man in the Middle East simply had a bowl full of watermelon and a good old fashion ball scratching they would really calm down. 
 It is the soul reason why black men (excluding Oprahs Man bitch Stedmen) can dance, and walk with that cool chilled out rhythm. 
 White bitches cratchin there nutz and watermelon running through their veins. 

I Turn My Camera On

If you dont like this your an asshole.

 Side note from Jonah the Ninja Dog Fish
 "Teen Mark Winfold on Jepordy your brother is coming for you you punk ass bitch!"

 To the endless amounts of 23 year old males in the continental United States (meaning the west cost and east cost because all the fly over states are as important as this blog) stop saying that the dirt under your nose is a mustache. Take 5 sec. out of your life and Google, Tweet or Facebook look up Tom Selleck grow a set, stop jerking off to yourself, and wash your fucking face!
 


 

Backgammon and Bullshit

Dear William, 

Thank you for your interest in White Columns

Although I appreciated the opportunity to review your materials, I regret to inform you that they will not be incorporated into our Curated Artist Registry. I realize that this is a potential disappointment to you, but I hope that you can understand that this process is extremely competitive, and that only a very small percentage of submissions are accepted.

Unfortunately due to the overwhelming volume of submissions White Columns receives each week, which I personally review, it is impossible for me to give individual feedback to each artist who submits their work for consideration.

I encourage you to look into other spaces with review programs in New York, such as Art in General, Artists Space, the Drawing Center, Exit Art, P.S. 1, and the Sculpture Center.

Thank you for allowing me to review your materials.

Best wishes,

Matthew Higgs
Director & Chief Curator

tommy lee's 9 inch dong

i have a headache. i want to smoke a cigarette. and i feel like i have to take a shit.

my 8 oz. cup of dutch bros is like an orgasm in my mouth. with sugar.

The Clash Charlie Don't Surf Live 1982

What the Shit!?

 Mondays are like getting a continuous cavity search. Every few moments you feel like there just might be a break, you breath deeply, let go of the feeling like you are about to take the biggest shit of your life. Then..another fist in the ass.

 Take a moment and reflect
on that as i scratch myself and watch Peoples Court.

A New Yorks Perspective on Oregon

 To all the hippy, dreddy, crunchy, organic, soy based fucks about to descend on the land none as Venita; for your week long celebration of free love and expression i simple have this to say....If you really want to live your life out of a Volkswagen Van. Not shave your pits. Or take the time to figure out that deodorant actually allows you to stand next to some one with making them puke. I have one suggestion for you..Save the planted and KILL YOURSELF!